North Carolina woman takes her own life after disclosing details of alleged sexual abuse by a Raleigh pastor in a video series on Facebook

A woman from North Carolina sadly ended her life over the weekend after posting videos on her Facebook account, where she spoke about the sexual abuse she experienced starting at the age of 18, which she had kept hidden for 22 years. The abuse was reportedly at the hands of a pastor from Raleigh, North Carolina, named Sonya Spence Walker, who leads Word Center Church.

In November 2023, Toreka James, using the name ‘Eternity Philops’ on Facebook, published an extensive post titled “MY TESTIMONY.” Earlier this year, she had initiated a series of videos entitled “The True Confessions of A Teenage Mistress,“ in which she detailed her experiences of alleged sexual childhood abuse.

In her post, Toreka revealed that on October 22, 2023, she confided in her mother about a secret she had shared with only a few individuals over the past 22 years. Accompanied by her younger sisters for support, she disclosed that when she was 18 years old, the First Lady of their church allegedly engaged in a long-term sexual relationship with her, which continued throughout her college years and beyond.

“For a moment, my mother sat in silence and stared at me. I will never forget the way her face slowly fell as the impact of what I said hit her. I could see the pain in her eyes, and it broke my heart,” Toreka said in her Facebook post.

Toreka addressed the question of why it took her until the age of 40 to share her truth, emphasizing that the “presence of abuse always matters“ and that “there is no expiration date on the impact it has on victims and their loved ones.”

“I just didn’t know,”said Toreka. “It didn’t take me 22 years to decide to tell the truth; it took me 22 years to realize the truth.”

She characterized her alleged relationship with then-First Lady Walker as a form of abuse, asserting that it did not happen in a “vacuum” and that they were not strangers to each other. 

“I was a church youth whom she watched grow up alongside her own two children,”Toreka said in her Facebook post in November 2023. “She herself was a mother figure to the kids in our congregation and to my siblings. And again, she was close friends with my mother.”

Toreka expressed that it was inappropriate for the First Lady of the church to engage in a sexual relationship with her, despite her being 18 years old, as she felt she was “far from being a proper adult“ despite her perceived maturity. She said pastor Walker who she referred to as “First” was 38-years-old at the time.

“It was she who was the fully grown adult, not me. She was the married woman, not me. She was the church leader, not me. She was in the position of power, not me. She was even the one who initiated intimacy…not me,”Toreka said in her Facebook post.

Reflecting on her late 30s, Toreka stated that she came to recognize her alleged relationship with Walker as abusive. She noted that while pastor Walker held a position of “First” within their church community, she also was a “First” to her “in other ways.” 

“She was my ‘Sandy,’ and I was her ‘Sweetness,’ “Toreka said in her social media post. My song for her was Anita Baker’s “Angels” and hers for me was “Sweet Love”. “Being with her showed me just how passionately I could love another person. I gave her my soul.”

In her November 2023 post, Toreka continued and expressed that she had allegedly given pastor Walker her “virginity, heart, and soul,” and lamented that she would have devoted her life to happiness and growth had Walker accepted it.

Two decades since then

Two decades later, Toreka acknowledged that she had grown and learned that abuse does not always manifest as physical violence; it can often be more subtle and coercive. She highlighted that the power and authority held by individuals in positions of influence can enable predators to exploit their victims.

She said “true love” did not resemble the relationship she allegedly had with pastor Walker, noting that years later, Walker had allegedly kicked her to the curb, forcing her to return to the “illusion of the life she’d had before.“

“I was left behind, her dirty little secret shoved into a dark corner,” Toreka wrote in her Facebook post. “The abandonment broke me… I wanted to die, and I almost killed myself.

During a period of suicidal thoughts, Toreka got help by checking herself into a hospital, where she was prescribed medication for depression and adopted a cat for companionship, as she struggled to be alone with her thoughts. While she did not blame pastor Walker, she took responsibility for their alleged affair.

Toreka mentioned that her church taught that homosexuality was a sin, yet she overlooked the fact that the bishop’s wife was also “queer,“ a reality that pastor Walker allegedly ignored. She recalled a time when the topic of gay marriage was contentious in North Carolina, and Walker preached from the pulpit about the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman, with the congregation giver her an “Amen”.

“I wondered how she could say that out of the same mouth that kissed me. And even then, I still didn’t blame her.”

Toreka kept their alleged relationship secret to protect pastor Walker, acknowledging that their involvement was wrong and that if it were to be revealed, she would be blamed for her “gay spirit.”

A Trip To New York

She recounted a trip to New York with her mother, pastor Walker, and other church members, during which Walker allegedly engaged in intimate acts with her in a hotel room while her mother was out shopping. Following this encounter, two church members reportedly overheard them, and one later warned Toreka that “what’s done in the dark comes to the light.“

Last communication in 2018

In her social media post, Toreka expressed her intention to speak out as a means of liberating herself. She noted that her last communication with pastor Walker allegedly occurred via Facebook Messenger in 2018, during which she wanted acknowledgment and confrontation regarding the pain inflicted upon her.

“Instead, she told me that I need to ‘let it go and move on,’ and that nothing would change concerning her past. She said she ‘prayed’ about her, and evidently that’s all she needed to do. We were supposed to talk once more, but we never spoke again after that conversation.”

Toreka referred to Walker as a “predator,“ asserting that such individuals rarely take accountability for their actions and often exploit the silence of their victims, which is frequently driven by shame.

“For 22 years, the love I’d still held for her in my heart is what kept her secret in my throat. Now, I free myself from both.”

READ FULL FACEBOOK POST BELOW:

 ‘The True Confessions Of A Teenage Mistress’

In a series of videos titled “The True Confessions of A Teenage Mistress,” which began in January 2024, Toreka aimed to share her story of being “sexually abused and exploited by a leader of my childhood church when I turned 18.” She described the vlog as part of her healing process, intended to release the pain and hurt of being used by someone held in high esteem by her family and community.

“By telling my story, I hope to encourage others to tell theirs,”Toreka said.

You can watch her ‘The True Confessions of A Teenage Mistress’ series by clicking HERE.

September 7th, Toreka commits suicide

At 12 a.m. on September 8, a post seemed to have been scheduled was made on her Facebook page with the caption “July 25, 1983, to September 7, 2024.”

The content of the post, read:

I did the best I could with what I had. I’m sorry it wasn’t enough. But now I don’t have to live for anyone else anymore. I can finally die for me.

SEE POST BELOW:

On the day of Toreka’s passing, her mother, Carletta, announced on Facebook at 6:21 p.m. that her eldest daughter had passed away.

SEE POST BELOW:

Word Center Church Pastor

According to the Word Center Church website, Pastor Sonya Walker is described as someone who “not only studies the Word but lives the Word,“ a narrative that starkly contrasts with Toreka‘s accounts prior to her death. The church’s website further claims that pastor Walker is a “virtuous woman of which the Bible speaks,” and notes that she has been preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ for over 20 years.